An article written by akrypti on 8asians.com sparked my interest on writing about a somewhat related topic which I’ve always been meaning to get to…Do you ever feel a bit embarrassed not knowing how to speak the language of your parents/grandparents/ancestors/etc.?
Me, not knowing how to speak Chinese (Mandarin/Cantonese), I often find myself out of place whenever I am with relatives, or hanging out with Chinese friends. It’s not so much that I feel embarrassed, but more so that I feel like I’m not part of the “group”.
Growing up, I never went to Chinese school nor spoke Chinese in the house. Even with these reasons, it always felt like an uphill battle as to justifying why I couldn’t speak Chinese. When speaking with non-Chinese people about this, they too are “amazed” that I can’t speak my native language, especially since I don’t have an American name like John or Jason…but then again, to be technical, my native tongue isn’t Mandrin or Cantonese anyway since I was born in D.C. Why is it so weird that I do not know Chinese…isn’t it the same as an African-American not knowing their African language, an Italian-American not knowing Italian, etc.?
I’ll probably always feel this way when hanging out with my older relatives and chinese friends…it’s just the way it is sadly.
How do you all feel about this and does this apply to you?
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July 22, 2008
Ironically I have the exact OPPOSITE problem: elders and fobs I meet think I can’t speak/understand a single word of Korean, when it’s hardly the case. -_- Not to say I’m fluent by any means, but it gets pretty annoying when people will insist on turning to you and speaking bloken Engrish.
Bottom line: you have to fight to change people’s perceptions of you. Do you wish you could speak Chinese better so you can relate and communicate better with peers? If so, shouldn’t you do something about that? If you don’t give a rat’s ass about learning or improving….then tough beans.
July 22, 2008
I am Taiwanese and understand some of the Taiwanese language, but I don’t speak Mandarin Chinese. I do regret not having learned enough of it to order food in a Chinese restaurant or to make small talk with relatives. This is a skill I’d like for my kids to have. So now, I’m trying to learn along with them.
You’re totally right that Italian-Americans are not expected to speak Italian. It really shouldn’t be any different for us, but somehow, in this world, it is.
July 23, 2008
@ goob
Haha, that’s weird you have the opposite problem and yea…it’s not like I don’t care and want to learn, it’s just that I’m pretty lazy, lol. Guess it’s tough beans for me!
@Asianmommy
Looks like I’m in the same boat as you! I also do regret not learning my “native” language, but on the other hand I don’t think I should be expected to know it by everyone, lol. And that’s a great motivator to start learning when you have someone else learning along with you…I should find a buddy!
August 1, 2008
I do not speak my native tongue.. well its actually the language from the community, which is cambodian. i sure understand it, but not in songs and when i speak it, my mom loves to make fun of me.. saying i sound like a white person trying to talk cambodian. i dont mind cus i love to laugh at myself. =) do i intend on teaching my girls cambodian? sure thing but i wont on a daily basis since i have no one to speak it with. they know, “look at her!” “look at that face.” and “what time is it?” lol
im also chinese (50%), laos (25%) and french (12.5%). cambodian (12.5)
i want to learn korean. =)
December 21, 2008
Im in the same boat. I live in a Chinese neighborhood, and people just cant understand that I don’t speak Chinese. When they start speaking, I tell them I cant understand Chinese. What happens? They look at me sideways, and keep speaking Chinese! Or they will say, why not, whats wrong with you? Didn’t your parents teach you anything? Surely you understand a little…
I tried learning a little, but honestly, its hard. Im not the best with languages, and my Spanish is getting better. Its just tiring having to explain to Chinese and non-Chinese alike why I don’t speak, and how its a great tragedy to my ethnicity.
January 21, 2009
@CandR and terp
Thanks a lot for sharing your stories, it’s kind of good to hear other people who have had similar experiences. Like you too terp, I tried learning Chinese a while ago (mp3 lessons on my ipod)…but it’s hard to keep motivated to do it, especially when I have other things to do or worry about.