It’s been a few weeks since I last frequented a Chinese buffet, but it’s always pretty much the same no matter where and when you go. I will jot down some of the common observances that I have found which mostly applies to all Chinese buffets universally. I took some pictures on my cellphone while I was there too…I can imagine what the other patrons must’ve been saying, “Goofy Asian”, LoL. Some information may surprise you, some may humor you, some may bore you…but I assure you that all information will be goofy!

• Chinese Buffets Usually have more than just (Americanized) Chinese Food.
  • Usually I stay away from the American food, but one can understand this tactic of putting it on the buffet line. Kids want food they can easily recognize, and what’s more recognizable than pizza, fries, and chicken wings?

  

  • “Mixing Bowl” of Other Asian Foods
    • An interesting concept indeed, yet rarely is the greatness of the concept transferred to the actual application. This particular establishment had pho (To get an understanding of pho, check this out). Well as you might have guessed, it wasn’t that impressive. Usually when dealing with these types of foods, you want to just take a quick look if anyone else has eaten it…and if all else fails, tell your friend to eat it first. This brings me to my next bullet…



• Sushi, in Most Cases, is a Bad Idea.
  • I’m by no means a sushi expert, but there’s things you should think about before picking up some sushi at the buffet. For example, see if the rice appears “glue-like”. Also notice if it smells funny. You can even sometimes tell if it’s been sitting there for awhile (yuck). Again, if all else fails, ask your friend to try it first.



• Crab is the “Money” Item.
  • If there’s one single item in the buffet that sells out like crazy, it would have to be the crab legs hands down. You better be an “early worm” (explained a little later) to even grab a few legs! I took a pic of the crab legs being freshly put out(directly two above)…I should’ve took a pic of all the people in line for it. I took another shot 3 minutes later (directly above) and it looked completely empty. It goes out even faster if the Hoarder is one of the first people…
• The “Hoarder”.
  • Now these people I really don’t get. They clearly have the mentality along the lines of either, a)”I must hoard as much as possible because one day, (item x) will be the future currency” or b)”I don’t want to get up again and I’ll just eat these few items at a buffet, which defeats the purpose of going to a buffet”. I really can’t stand these types of people, I bet they usually don’t eat it all too.
• The “Road Blocker”.
  • These are the people who stand in front of the food item you are trying to get to, and I’m not talking about when a person stands in front of item x to actually get item x and moves on…I’m talking about the guy who chats on his cell phone or talks to his friend while holding the darn serving tong! Damn! And how about those people who try to reach over the other side for item y using item x’s tong? Ahhh, somebody needs a punch in the face.
• The “Early Worm”.
  • lol…if they could bring in a camping tent in the restaurant, I bet you they would. These are the people who stand in front of the empty spot where item x should be, waiting easily several minutes without breaking a sweat. You can usually spot this with the popular items, like crab.
• Rice = Cheap Stuffer.
  • There’s a plethora of rice items….you have you normal white rice and fried rice. Besides that, you have sushi and occasionally, brown rice. Rice, rice, rice. There’s probably many more things with rice in it. “They use so much rice because it’s super Chinese, right?” Ummm….I think it’s more along the lines of rice, per unit, is relatively the cheapest item and is used to it maximum extent. Take a look at a Chinese group, or even an Asian group for that matter. Most cases, there’s not much rice on their plates (at least not a big portion of white/fried rice). Yea, they know what’s up. Now, I’m not saying you should avoid rice. By all means, go for it, especially if it’s your favorite. I thought I’d just point out that it may be best to try other things than fill up on rice…especially if you’re paying a good amount of money.



• The “I Must Eat a Million Pounds of Food or Else I Don’t Get My Money’s Worth” Mentality.
  • LoL. I too have this mentality. If I don’t eat 3 plates of food and dessert…I will get the feeling I have been cheated. Is this why America is so fat (Thank goodness for my Asian “skinny” genes and still being under 30, lol)? I’d be a hypocrite if I told you that you shouldn’t think this way, so I’ll just say this…try to eat a salad.



• My Thoughts on Fruits and Desserts.
  • Most of the times you are safe with the oranges, melons, grapes and pineapples. What I suggest avoiding is cut apples, cut bananas, and any other item that “browns” quickly. Don’t expect great quality from fruits either way. As for the desserts, I can’t really comment on it…I usually don’t eat any of the pastries because I get mixed reviews from friends. The frozen yogurt is just frozen yogurt, so that’s a safe bet as far as desserts go.

Hooray! It said I “have an important new business development shaping up”

Well, after all is said and done, it’s a nice little experience. They usually put a nice finishing touch with the fortune cookie which I usually don’t eat. Even if you don’t eat it, you can’t help but break it open and read the fortune, lol. Mine was quite interesting and can be sometimes “on spot”. It said “You have an important new business development shaping up” and I actually do have some plans in the works. Thank you fortune cookie goddess!

As one can expect, it’s all about quantity over quality for buffets. Obviously my observances do not apply to all, but I have a feeling that this is how most are in America at least. How does your Chinese buffets around you fair to my thoughts on Chinese buffets in general? I need to take a shower now and wash that smell of food out of my hair.

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